After leaving the office on my last day, I hopped in Betsy (my dishearteningly decrepit ’99 Subaru Legacy) and chugged to my favorite fishing spot. I’d been introduced to the creek back when I first started fly fishing; I know every hole, riffle, and pocket, and the number of times I’ve been outsmarted by the fish there is jaw-dropping. But this day, I had a new plan. My boss had told me of a great spot just downstream of where I’d always wandered, and I’d decided to break my old routine.
After a treacherous wade across the slick streambed, I parted a curtain of willows and gazed at the pool. The stream had widened and slowed, and its whirling waters were glazed with a cool afternoon sunshine. Leafy branches, animated by the breeze, speckled the surface with their pleasant shadows. The water slid onward, powerful yet sedate, and even though the bottom was in plain view–with every swirl, ripple, and bubble clear to my eye–I felt insignificant, and humbled.
Suddenly, a shadow lifted from the windowed creek bottom. Its hue shifted from black to almond brown as it rose, and then it broke the surface, slick speckled spots flashing black and clear in the sunlight.
I quickly crouched, and, guessing completely at what the brown trout was eating, knotted on a fly. With recklessness I lashed the fly through the air, and then settled it onto the gliding water. The swirls of current pulled my offering downstream, and revealed their mysterious paths.
I came into the first day at my internship with only interests: I liked writing, and I liked fly fishing, and I was pretty good at editing. Why not put them together (and get a great resume booster for grad school and beyond)?
Yet in so many ways, my time at Fly Fisherman magazine has given me much, much more than I originally sought. Of course, I still got the resume boost, and great experience. But what I didn’t count on was the major rediscovery of a hobby that I had forgotten, a true, legitimate experience in editing, re-editing, and re-re-editing (writer’s note: the repetition is just to get across the, you know, repetition), and the discovery that I could see myself pursuing further education, and even a career, in journalism. All the editing, calling authors, creating contracts, and even a little bit of writing(!) gave me a fulfilling pride and enjoyment. I’ve been searching for a career that could give me just that.
In a confusing, scary time of my life, my internship took me in a comforting direction. Whether or not I will continue on its path, the very nature of making me aware of my future has been an important step in growing up.
Sometimes, the water flows just right. The smooth, eddying currents, mysterious, fickle, and powerful, bend their will on the gently floating fly. The drift carries our tempting faux-morsel to precisely the right spot, which is often not even where we sought to send it. By chance of the currents, of nature, or fate, or predestined action–call it what you will–we are given our reward, and are changed because of it.
The trout, dappled with leafy sunshine, rises, and with youthful exuberance takes the fly.